All you can think about is the fights, the disagreements, the pain, and the anger. Now you wonder, can couples counselling save a relationship? Is it worth the effort? Any couple, whether they are experiencing extreme difficulties or are just hitting a slump in the relationship can benefit from couples counselling.
The opportunity to explore the relationship and deepen a couple’s communication will enhance a partnership. In couples counselling you will discover more about yourself, more about your partner, and more about the way you interact with each other. It is with this knowledge and experience that couples counselling can help you mend your relationship.
Opening Communication Within The Relationship
Research has shown that a large percentage of couples who seek counselling are able to mend their relationships. This is mainly due to the opportunity created for communication.
It is common to find many relationship difficulties having an underlying communication problem. When given the platform to address these relationship issues with insight and not conflict then a healthy conversation can take place. This type of conversation is important for healing and compassionate understanding of each other to occur.
The communication that is encouraged in couples counselling is honest, open, and without judgement. A counsellor will encourage a couple to use ‘I feel’ statements to allow for a deeper understanding and sharing of the personal experience and not one aimed at blaming your partner.
This type of communication will allow you to not only share your experiences with your partner and talk about them together in a safe space, but you will also gain insight into yourself and your own needs and reasons for them. Practicing this communication in between sessions and making open communication a habitual practice will continue to strengthen your relationship over time.
Remembering The Reasons You Are Together
Couples counselling gives you the opportunity to stop the conflict and focus on each other as humans. Your couples counsellor may offer suggestions on things you could do together, such as trust building activities, or conversations you could have, etc. These activities offer you the chance to remember why you are together and even learn new reasons to stay together.
Couples counselling can help you set goals and re-adjust your daily habits and thought patterns. These changes can be discussed in the session and implemented in between sessions. The more you have clear goals, the easier it is to commit to changing your behaviors. This is an endeavor you will tackle together with the support of your couples counsellor.
It is important to agree to these goals and activities together and have a way to hold yourself and each other accountable. By making SMART goals (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, with a time limit) you are setting a good foundation and method for you keeping to and achieving these goals. Setting goals in sessions will allow for you both to be comfortable with the goal and agree to commit to work on it. You might find having a notebook where you can write these goals down a helpful way in which to remember the goals and work toward them.
It may be beneficial to reflect on these remembered reasons in a session and share the positive insight with your partner. This communication will help rebuild emotional connection.
It Is, In The End, Your Choice
Couples counselling is a tool that you can use to rebuild and strengthen your relationship. However, it is not a magic wand. Your commitment and willingness to invest in the work that is involved with the counselling process will be the biggest reason that couples counselling will succeed.
Without your commitment, a counsellor will not be able to facilitate a therapeutic process and your partner will feel further isolated and hurt. This may lead to more conflict and the relationship dissolving.
When you start any therapeutic process you may feel uncertain and fearful of what may be asked of you. This is a normal worry. Having this worry does not mean you are not committed to the process; however, it should not hold you back either. When you commit to the process you need to commit fully and engage with every element.
You and your partner are the most important players in this therapeutic process. You both are the experts on your relationship and your own personal experiences. You both have the potential to shift your thoughts, understanding, and resulting behaviors. You are both going to have to commit to the process for it to be beneficial.
When you and your partner are committed to the process you will have a higher chance of couples counselling being the tool you need to rebuild your relationship.
To Wrap Up
When it comes to couples counselling, there is a strong likelihood of rekindling the relationship and continuing on together. By committing fully to the process and creating clear and realistic goals, following suggested activities, and engaging in compassionate open communication you will be giving your relationship every chance it needs.
If you and your partner are ready to commit to a therapeutic journey, contact us at One Life Counselling and Coaching. We are here to assist you in communicating with each other in a safe space and exploring all the possibilities to rebuild your relationship.
