Aside from how the divorce will affect you, you have another pressing concern: How will it affect your children?
Even when their marriage is falling apart, many couples choose to stay together for their children. But this can end up doing more harm than good. An environment where parents are always arguing or on edge is not a happy place for a child.
No child wants to hear that their parents are separating. But if your marriage is creating a home that’s in constant conflict, then staying together may be worse. As much as you want to protect your child, keep in mind that the best thing for them may not be continuing to live with your spouse.
Even when they’re young, children pick up on body language and social cues. Arguments are stressful and scary. While divorce is painful to go through, consider that it will eventually give your children a more peaceful and stable home.
Not sure how to navigate this difficult conversation? Unsure of how you’ll handle custody? You can learn to successfully co-parent with the help of a therapist.
If you and your partner are willing to put the work in, marriage counselling can be an option.
At One Life, one of the approaches that our therapists use is The Gottman Method. With this technique, couples learn how to improve their communication skills, navigate conflict, and work on empathy and intimacy.
Couples therapy is an alternative to divorce. With marriage counselling, you can learn how to resolve conflict and communicate in healthy ways.
The first session will focus mostly on gathering information about the relationship and the challenges you’re facing. Later sessions will explore ways to repair the relationship and find where conflict arises.
A marriage counsellor doesn’t take sides. They don’t try to place blame on one partner or prove the other right. Instead, their job is to be an ally to both partners. They try to help each person understand how their actions affect the other.
But for relationship counselling to be effective, both parties need to put in the effort.
So, should you try marriage counselling? That depends; do you want to work on your marriage, or do you think it’s best to move on?
The end of a marriage is more than just a breakup. It’s the end of the vision you had of your future, the life you built with another person, and all the plans and promises you made.
Needless to say, it’s an incredibly hard thing to go through, both emotionally and financially.
Ending your marriage can bring on feelings of grief; after all, you’ve just experienced a great loss. That’s why most couples seek grief counselling after a divorce.
There is hope ahead. Envision your new future and learn how to build it with post-divorce counselling.
No. The information shared with your counsellor is confidential.
Your mental health is so important; don’t let fear hold you back from seeking the help you need. You can trust that the things you say during counselling will be protected by confidentiality.