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Divorce Counselling Calgary

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To say that going through a divorce is difficult would be the understatement of the year—no, the century. Divorces cause a great deal of emotional and financial stress. According to the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale, divorces are one of the most stressful life events to go through. 

Once you and your partner agree to separate, the next step is navigating the divorce process. And this brings challenges of its own—from the financial impacts to your living situation to the custody of your children. 
When you’re faced with dozens of decisions, where do you get started? 

Learn how to navigate the challenges ahead of you with divorce counselling. When you’re going through a separation, you don’t need to do it alone. 
At One Life Counselling & Coaching, we offer support and guidance to those going through a divorce. Our divorce therapists are available 7 days a week, including evenings and weekends.

What Happens in Divorce Counselling?

If you’ve never met with a divorce counsellor before, you might be wondering what the process looks like. 

A divorce counsellor can give you actionable tips about how to put your life on the right track. From telling your children to arranging a new living situation, you’ll get through it step by step. Gradually, you can regain your independence and build a fulfilling life. 
Through counselling, you can:
  • Find skills and strategies to cope with difficult emotions.
  • Talk about what to expect in the months that follow a divorce.
  • Anticipate difficult conversations and events and how you’ll handle them.
  • Create a plan of action for how to move on.
  • Learn how to speak civilly with your ex, even when tensions are running high.
Conflict Between Couple
Do you feel like you’ve had the rug pulled out from under you? If your marriage is ending, you might feel totally lost. When emotions are intense, it’s hard to think logically and piece your future back together. 

Along with emotional support, a divorce counsellor can give you the direction and advice you need to navigate the divorce process.

Do I Need Counselling After Divorce?

Even if your split is amicable, the divorce process is gruelling. It can take a serious toll on your well-being. The negative effects of divorce include:
  • Difficulty sleeping
  • Irritability
  • Negative self-image
  • Hopelessness
  • Suicidal thoughts
  • Financial troubles
Naturally, many people seek counselling sessions to cope with the stress of a divorce.  In some cases, a divorce may involve domestic abuse, infidelity, or emotional manipulation. This can leave you with trauma that’s incredibly hard to cope with on your own. You may be having thoughts and feelings that you don’t feel comfortable sharing with others.  A divorce counsellor offers the essential help you need. They can assist you with adapting to your new life, healing from trauma, and finding hope on the road ahead. 

How Does Divorce Affect Children?

Aside from how the divorce will affect you, you have another pressing concern: How will it affect your children?

Even when their marriage is falling apart, many couples choose to stay together for their children. But this can end up doing more harm than good. An environment where parents are always arguing or on edge is not a happy place for a child.

No child wants to hear that their parents are separating. But if your marriage is creating a home that’s in constant conflict, then staying together may be worse. As much as you want to protect your child, keep in mind that the best thing for them may not be continuing to live with your spouse. 

Even when they’re young, children pick up on body language and social cues. Arguments are stressful and scary. While divorce is painful to go through, consider that it will eventually give your children a more peaceful and stable home. 

Not sure how to navigate this difficult conversation? Unsure of how you’ll handle custody? You can learn to successfully co-parent with the help of a therapist.  

Some Warning Signs That Point To Considering Divorce Counselling

Is your relationship on the rocks? Most couples consider separating at one point or another; as the years go by, life changes us, and this puts stress on our relationships.

You aren’t sure if you’re going through a rough patch or if it’s time to consider separation. The decision to seek couples counselling or end the relationship is not an easy one to make. You have a lot to consider before you decide on a divorce. 
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avoidance

You avoid spending time with your partner

Do you make other plans just to avoid seeing your spouse? Do you dread the times when you’re alone together?
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an argument

You’re always arguing

Disagreements are a natural part of all relationships. But if you’re constantly fighting and never reaching a resolution, it’s a sign you have too many differences.
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frustrated

Your loved ones are telling you to end the relationship

No one knows your relationship the way you do. But if people on the outside are telling you to end it, consider why. Are they worried about your well-being, safety, or happiness? 
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You feel more like roommates than romantic partners

Living together, sharing finances, doing housework—these responsibilities can make a relationship feel more like an obligation than a loving partnership. If your relationship is no longer intimate or affectionate, you may feel like you simply live with your partner rather than share a life with them.
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Having a different path

You want different things for the future

Love is one thing, and compatibility is another. Where do you see yourself in the next 5 years? 10 years? If you and your partner have completely different answers (and aren’t willing to compromise), that will create unhappiness for both of you. 
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unpleasant interaction

Your interactions are mostly negative

When you first got together, your relationship was filled with romantic gestures, sweet words, and positive feelings. But if you feel like those times are long gone, it’s a sign your relationship has changed.
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trust issues

You don’t trust your partner

All relationships are built on trust. But that trust can be broken due to infidelity, lying, or broken promises. Actions speak louder than words.

Should You Go To Marriage Counselling if You Want a Divorce?

If you and your partner are willing to put the work in, marriage counselling can be an option. 

At One Life, one of the approaches that our therapists use is The Gottman Method. With this technique, couples learn how to improve their communication skills, navigate conflict, and work on empathy and intimacy. 

Couples therapy is an alternative to divorce. With marriage counselling, you can learn how to resolve conflict and communicate in healthy ways. 

The first session will focus mostly on gathering information about the relationship and the challenges you’re facing. Later sessions will explore ways to repair the relationship and find where conflict arises.

A marriage counsellor doesn’t take sides. They don’t try to place blame on one partner or prove the other right. Instead, their job is to be an ally to both partners. They try to help each person understand how their actions affect the other. 

But for relationship counselling to be effective, both parties need to put in the effort.

So, should you try marriage counselling? That depends; do you want to work on your marriage, or do you think it’s best to move on? 

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Post-Divorce Counselling

The end of a marriage is more than just a breakup. It’s the end of the vision you had of your future, the life you built with another person, and all the plans and promises you made.

Needless to say, it’s an incredibly hard thing to go through, both emotionally and financially. 

Ending your marriage can bring on feelings of grief; after all, you’ve just experienced a great loss. That’s why most couples seek grief counselling after a divorce. 

There is hope ahead. Envision your new future and learn how to build it with post-divorce counselling. 

Can Therapy Be Used Against You in a Divorce?

No. The information shared with your counsellor is confidential. 

Your mental health is so important; don’t let fear hold you back from seeking the help you need. You can trust that the things you say during counselling will be protected by confidentiality. 

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Virtual or In-Person Counselling

If you can’t attend your appointments in person, we also offer online counselling. This is a great option for those who live outside of Calgary or simply have a busy schedule! 

We’re happy to offer both in-person and online counselling services. Just tell us what type of appointment you prefer, and we’ll set it up for you.

Your Mental Health Matters. Talk to a Divorce Counsellor Today!

Divorce is never easy. It’s hard for everyone involved—the couple, the children, and their families. Get the support you need by calling One Life Coaching & Counselling. 

With help from a registered psychologist, you can navigate the difficult emotions that arise during a separation—including anxiety, depression, and grief. 

Our therapists are available now to help you build your life after the end of a long-term relationship. Learn how to handle the challenges of co-parenting and joint custody. Make a plan for your future and find yourself again with the help of divorce counselling. Book your appointment today!
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