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time posted
Nov 13, 2020

How to Deal with Anger


How do You deal with Explosive Anger?

Do you find it difficult to contain your anger? Does a little frustration trigger fits of rage and aggression despite your best effort to control your emotion? You could be experiencing anger outbursts because of stress and emotions that lay beneath the anger. While you may be aware of the emotional turmoil of the outbursts, you are unable to control your reaction. Additionally, you may not even comprehend why you are so angry.

Explosive anger is characterized by impulsive episodes of verbal outbursts, or excessive reprimanding. An enraged person has trouble controlling the surge of emotions or actions during an aggressive incident.

Is Explosive Anger Manageable?

Despite the severity of this condition, the symptoms can be controlled with anger management. Calgary has counselling psychologists who can help you control and prevent the anger from taking over your life. The intervention is in the form of therapy. During anger management counselling sessions, the therapist finds out about your triggers, personality, and every pertinent issue related to the source of your anger. The goal is to master your emotions more effectively and to develop greater self-awareness of yourself.

You do not need to find therapists in Calgary outside of your area of residence. We have psychologists in Calgary that are ready to help you with your anger.

Tips for Anger Management

Know Your Triggers

Anger is a powerful negative emotion. Like a hurricane, it destroys everything along its path. Now that you know you have untamable fury, you need to master it to prevent the negative outcomes that often accompany anger outbursts. Identify situations that provoke you to anger and try as much as possible to understand what is happening for you in those moments. You can always try relaxation techniques to bring yourself back down.

List down any incidences that angered you and analyze your reactions. Identify trends from each episode and come up with ways to have different options for yourself. The part of you that shows up in anger is a fight response from within. Our nervous system operates from a place of protection (Fight-Flight-Freeze-Attach-Submit) and fight is one of our protectors.

When we learn to understand this protector part of ourself better we can discover what it is within us that needs protecting. Often this is not necessarily obvious right away and it the job of the Calgary psychologist to help you discover what the emotion is that you are protecting against.

Learn to Resolve Issues

Avoid retroflecting past incidences. Overthinking about former incidences keeps you from the present moment and can activate old wounds. There is a difference between learning from your mistakes and mulling over to the point of frustration. Therefore, let those past outbursts open your eyes to learning more about yourself.

Ruminating over former incidences makes you biased on your situation Regardless of the trigger, explosive anger is never justifiable. It has the potential of bringing so much destruction than the situation warranted.

Make peace within yourself, it is a hard task but necessary. Do not let your mind play the movie over and over again creating more inner conflict. Humility is an under used skill and is often need in situations that require repair.

Change your Thinking Pattern

Thoughts fuel anger. Even your assessments, assumptions, and attitudes can feed anger. It worsens your outlook and alters your perceptions of reality. It is the reason most management techniques recommend calming down before expressing your thoughts.

When you are angry, you’re thinking becomes irrational. You exaggerate situations, diminish your role in escalating the problem, and extrapolate the faults of the other party. Negative thought patterns cause you to project your anger.

Avoid this negative spiral through rationalization. You can reframe your thoughts using the cognitive restructuring technique. The technique lets you take note of your thoughts when they became negative and self-defeating. It encourages finding ways to redirect or interrupt your thinking.

Do not use Anger as a Distraction?

Anger can be a substitute for pain. It is conventional to avoid pain by turning it into anger. The shift takes attention away from you to others. Self-actualization is vital in anger management. Turning on other people makes you a victim. It becomes a 'you versus them mentality.' You end up directing your fury toward others.

Deal with your pain instead of redirecting it into anger. If you feel caught up in a vicious anger cycle, resentment, and pity, it might be time to seek professional help. A counselling psychologist can help you go through the pain in a healthy non-destructive manner.

Join a Group of People Seeking Similar Solutions

Learning from your mistakes is great, but learning from the mistakes of others is even greater. There are groups of people needing anger management. Joining these types of groups helps you get multiple solutions, preventative strategies, and support.

Walking with others also makes the journey bearable. You get to push each other forward and overcome milestones together. Your win becomes everyone's win. When you fail, others pull you up.

Learn to Relax

When you are seething with anger, your breathing and heart rate increases, temperatures rise as your body prepares your body for a fight. Learn to calm down. Use your breathing technique to take your concentration away from your thoughts and emotions. Take slow controlled breaths to help your body relax and keep you from responding in anger.

Stay Away from Volatile People and Situations

Anger is a social emotion. The target can be other people or yourself. Be wise about your engagements. The type of conversations or company you keep can be triggering. Learn to walk away from situations before they turn out of control.

Remember, you cannot control what others say or do, but you can control yourself. Manage how you react. If the person or situation becomes unbearable, step away because it is beyond your control and will only bring out the worst in you.

You can exercise, take a jog, walk, and immerse yourself in meditation to calm down. Activities help you down regulate. Once your anger subsides, you can confront the issue. Whatever you do, avoid engaging your anger without changing your emotions. You can only master your anger by not letting it control your thoughts and actions.

I am the founder of One Life Counselling and Coaching LTD and I am honored to lead a team of professional psychologists, psychotherapist’s and life coaches who dedicate their professional lives to helping people to elevate their mindsets, evolve their beliefs and learn to thrive in the present moment.
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