Licensing Info: College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario #003404
Concerns related to:
Talking about a difficult or painful past is always hard. I am often asked the question “Do we need to talk about my past in order for me to work on this?”
And here is my take on it. You go to the gym and it is really tough in the beginning, but the pay off after you do all the heavy lifting is worth it. As your body builds strength, what once felt challenging, comes to you more easily. You experience a sense of pride in your growth. Therapy and coaching is the same when it comes to the difficult parts of our past - it is part of the process of building strength and resilience so those past challenges do not have the same hold on your present or future.
Gestalt therapy is my primary orientation along with a combination of coaching, mindfulness training and relational approaches to psychotherapy.
Weaving coaching in with therapy can be a powerful combination for personal growth. I like to move between being super empowering and supportive and then also challenge and invite my clients to take on the parts of themselves that hold them back.
Often by the time couples reach out for support, they have dug themselves deep into negative communication patterns with one another. They are quick to criticize, verbally attack and blame the other, or even withdraw from their partner to avoid conflict all together. At this stage, it is common for each to view their partner and their partner’s behavior as the sole source of all the challenges in their relationship.
That said, one of the most challenging aspects I see with my clients is taking personal accountability for their own role in it. Often they are waiting on the other person to change. So the start of our work together is identifying the ways each of them have been showing up that have not been conducive to a healthy, happy relationship. Then, making commitments to themselves and each other to invest the time and energy to learn and practice new ways of being with one another. When couples start to integrate these behaviors that are more supportive of their own needs and more receptive of their partners needs, this is when they really begin to feel things shift for them. It takes commitment and practice.
I have extensive training in couples therapy with most of the top rated couples training programs out there (Gottman, EFT, RLT, & Gestalt) and use a blend of strategies, giving direction and creating a safe place for couples to learn how to connect, communicate and build a strong foundation in their relationship.
I believe that teaching couples how to become leaders in how they show up in relationship is somewhat unique to how I work with couples. Most couples will feel like victims on some level to their partners psychology and behaviors, in our work together I aim to move towards an empowerment stance.
I am a firm believer that you will feel it in your gut. Good therapy and coaching always feels like the practitioner deeply understands your scenario, gets you and is invested in the process with you.
I have high standards when it comes to my personal development, and am very selective of the therapy or coaching practitioners I have worked with in the past. I would encourage you to be as well, this is an investment in you and your wellbeing.
My journey began with living in a small Tibetan Village in Southern India, meeting an Art Therapist working with underprivilaged kids and a most of all a deep hunger for enlightenment and personal growth.
Growing up, I was the shy kid, the dreamer. Always asking deeper questions of life, you know the kinda stuff like “Why the heck are we here and what’s the point of all of this”.
This curiosity grew as a teenager and led me to some pretty amazing places both abroad and within myself.
Anyone who knows me well, knows I have strong inner wanderlust that has led me to many places around the world. Right before taking my psychotherapy training, I was travelling abroad and studying meditation with monks in Thailand, soaking up wisdom in Ashrams in Nepal and India and eventually living in a small Tibetan community where I intensely practiced meditation.
I learned one of the greatest lessons of my life here with my friends in this Tibetan village: home is within yourself and it is located right where the heart is.
After this experience I knew that I wanted to help others find their inner peace and enrolled in a powerful psychotherapy program in Toronto called The Gestalt Institute of Toronto. The rest is history!